Thursday, 6/24/2004 Early morning
On route to Atlanta

A person on the previous Peru trip mentioned that God has blessed me with much to give.  Right now that includes the financial ability to go on this trip, but soon the superficiality will be lost and that "much" will have more to do with my energy, love, character, spiritual wealth, and corroded Spanish knowledge.

As I mentally prepare for this trip, I'm realizing that there are many items requiring reflection on this trip... in fact, too many.  Recalling the last two missions trips and all other post-college vacation trips, I know that it's just not practical to reflect on more than one item at a time.  Unfortunately I have three main items: understanding the relationship thru the heart, understanding my spiritual gift, and learning more about God.  I'll leave the prioritization to God, but since this is an intentional trip, I want to intentionally work at these goals by reflecting at least a few minutes daily on each.

I want to start this trip wit scripture, and I can think of nothing better than the central verse of the last trip... The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Love and Joy are addictive, so it's easy to desire more of them.  I find true peace when blocking out everything else but God.  I learned a while back not to pray for patience; God provides enough trials for that without me asking for more.  Kindness and goodness come more naturally, especially around both children and people seeking God's will.  I need to work more on faithfulness.  Since faithfulness comes thru knowing God more, that highlights my lack of sufficient quiet time.  Faithfulness will be my area of focus with God on this trip.  Gentleness and self-control should come easily, especially considering the environment.

Wow, I'm tired.  As I texted (phone message) Lacy earlier - although I'm not sure where, I'm quite certain that getting up at 4am is listed in the Bible as a sin.  Consequently, I'm happy that I'm not enticed much by that one... <smirk>

I'm sitting in the plane on route to Atlanta Georgia.  We took off at least 30 minutes late this morning.  Though I was curious just how late, I wasn't eager enough to turn the phone back on to find out.  I was still in a pre-morning, sleep depredated stupor... "pre-morning" because it was in the gray area between what I recognized as night and morning.  Nevertheless, we were given four reasons for the delayed departure, including runway changes, manifest changes, and baggage issues.  Ironically the taxi driver and I were just discussing the benefits of taking the first flight of the day, which included the flight timeliness and lack of complications.  <laughter>  Well at least I have an aisle seat with a functional light.  <continued laughter while reminiscing over complications from the previous Peru trip>

Thursday, 6/24/2004 ~ 7:15 AM PST
On route to Peru

I ended up arriving in Atlanta about 10 minutes before Bob, which meant only an hour layover when having to change terminal and exchange some currency... so far, so good.  I tried sleeping on the flight to Atlanta; since it didn't work out so well, I instead spent time reading "Knowing God Intimately."  I thought I was reading well on the first flight by making it to page 60... but I just noticed that there are 240 pages, so I'm a bit depressed.  <raises his brow>  I hate the fact that I'm a slow reader, but never seem to spend more time doing it either.

Bob is in row 19 and I'm in 31, with no chance for seat changes.  The lady next to me has been very pleasant; her mom lives in Peru and this is the second time this hear that she's gone back to visit.  We've been talking for a couple of hours.  I totally blanked on the city in which we're staying... come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I've never committed that to memory from last time.  There's a little girl sitting across the aisle to my left.  She's probably no more than 4 years old, and her father is sitting right behind her.  she reminds me of a my sister Ashley, when I first moved into the Murry household... a little shy, but very inquisitive and intelligent.  Children have a carefree nature and an unconditional love - still unstained by the darker side of life.  When God calls us to be like children, I believe part of the connotation deals with returning to this state... to live as though where were no tomorrow and yet love as though you were never hurt.  Just as learning not to live in joy and love took practice, I'm sure re-learning these anew will also take practice.  I faithfully hope the next two weeks will be another good dosage in that relearning process.

Friday, 6/25/2004 ~ 10:30 AM
On route to Obrajillo

We went to bed last night about 12:30 at Luis' place, and got up this morning at 6am.  I thought we were hurrying because of the other mission groups, but it turns out that we were hurrying to get on a bus to go on a short vacation trip about 3 hours North into the mountains... just were I told the travel nurse that we were not going.  She wanted to give me Malaria meds if I went more than an hour North of Lima.  <smirk>  Here's another opportunity for faith. 

I had 5 minutes to get up and pack in the dark, for a 2 day hiking trip.  I packed the following: deodorant, tooth brush/paste, soap, first aid, tee shirt, socks, journal, grabbed the first long sleeve shirt I could find (which later turned out to be one I was going to give away), and my big baggy pants that I repaired (patched/sewed) before coming.  I got my sleeping bag, pillow and hiking boots ready, but since my eyes were pasty, I failed to see them sitting beside my bag and so I failed to pick them up on the back from throwing my clothes on... so this should be quite an adventure!  There are 6 of us - Bob, Pepe, Erin, Julie, Mike and myself.  I'm a little low on sleep, have a headache (due to dehydration), have to go to the bathroom (and have another hour of the bumpy ride yet), and am starting to feel the elevation (so we're probably going above 8,000 feet).  But my attitude is far from negative.  I'm actually wondering what sort of experiences await us in the mountains.  I give this trip to God.

Friday, 6/25/2004 - 9:45 PM
In my hostal in Obrajillo

After arriving in Canta, we took the road and walked over to the next town - called Obrajillo.  We met some friendly locals on the way and one mentioned a good restaurant in the next on the right.  We stopped for lunch, price checked a couple hostals, and ended up paying about 30 soles per room.  The meals were about 2-4 dollars a person.  At the hostal, we paid 30 soles per room and each room had 2 beds and a bath (30 soles is about 9 dollars, so we paid about 4.5 dollars per person a night to stay)... talk about cheap!

We left the hostal and hiked on a trail for about an hour, until coming to another small village.  The village was in the high valley area, surrounded by mountains with a  stream running thru.  We stopped to rest, which turned into 2 hours of napping in the village - by the stream and under the sun.  I was moving slower than some on the trail for a couple reasons - my ankle isn't fully healed from the break 6 weeks ago, and my previous experience with altitude in Peru wasn't pretty.  But when we stopped at the village, I wasn't tired.  I ended up talking with a boy (about 5 years old) and teaching him how to hacky sack.  It was my first on-my-own experience with a Peruvian conversation.  I was rusty, but it worked pretty well.  I taught him the rules and we played for about an hour, until I was tired (mainly from the lack of sleep, but seeing every else sleeping didn't help).  I told the boy goodbye and he gave me the hacky sack and started slowly walking away.  But seeing the glimmer in his eye, especially for the newfound game, I tossed the hacky sack back at him and told him he could keep it.  Then I reverted back to my childhood farm days, found another temporary bathroom, cleared the cow patties away from a location by they rest of the group, and lied down.  We all slept thru the spontaneous horse neighing and dog fights, but woke to a heard of sheep being driven by.

After waking, the group took some pictures and we started to hike back towards Obrajillo for supper.  We ate early, around 4:45, and went back to the hostal to clean up.  I figured hot showers would be impossible in the morning, so I took one while others were playing cards.  The first shower after two days of travel and hiking, felt great... though it did feel weird putting the same clothes back on, with only different under garments.  Anyway, since it was only 6:30pm (though it was dark), we decided to go back out on the town.  There was a loud fiesta going on nearby, so we stopped there for about 20 minutes; seeing as how the town was only about 6 blocks long, it wasn't difficult to find.  I caught ear of a background beat in their ... unique jazz/folk like music, and danced about a minute before I caught the attention of too many people.

As we were leaving there, my right foot found a hold and gave way to the old wound.  That hurt badly but seemed as though I was feeling more previously damaged parts than anything new.  The ease of my foot turning over definitely gave me a reality check though - especially after starting to feel ok hiking in my tennis shoes.

We all sat down at another vendor and had some roasted corn kernels.  I had a hot chocolate, which was very unique but good.  They heated some canned, evaporated milk and mixed in some great tasting chocolate... Mike and I both had a couple cups of hot chocolate, while Bob and Pepe had some tea caliente (hot tea with some liquor) and Julie and Erin were just trying to keep warm.  I got to know more about Julie, Erin and Mike.  Actually, Mike is from Moline, IL - a high school rival town.  They are all here volunteering with Frontline ministries for a few months.  We talked about intent and goals for this trip, but they are college age and are doing this more for service and vacation... not as targeted as are my desires.  But we all come from different places, so that is of course expected.

We're back at the hostal now, and after writing this - it's probably about 10:30pm.  We are supposed to rise at 6:30 tomorrow, and though that's not a comfortable thought - I'm still very content.  I'm in a real bed after a great experience in God's country, some awesome new food, new experiences, great conversations, and a nice shower.  God is good.

Saturday, 6/26/2004 - 8:45 AM
Still in the hostal

We were supposed to get up by 6:45am at the latest, but Bob and I woke up without a call around 8am.  We woke up in the morning due to the noise and the fact that there was far more light that should have been at 6:30.  Last night's sleep wasn't all that great because of all the noise; the town party finished around 4:30am... and mang did they make some noise when they were all going home!  Anyway, it turns out that we all got up long past when we needed to take a taxi to go to the lake (at a much higher altitude, and we were already around 9000 feet).  Pepe was a bit disappointed because he really likes the view there, but we could do without 4 more hours in a taxi when we have another 3 hours yet by bus today, in order to return to Lima.  I've woken up with less of a headache, but it's still here.  I'm going to go grab another water from the local vender while everyone gets ready... they are only 1 sol here (~30 cents).  We will probably go hiking for another 4 hours here, so I will pray that God keeps my ankle strong.

Last night, Bob and I talked about our desires and hopes for this trip.  I will keep Bob in my prayers, for God to help him understand the directions He wants Bob to go with this desire of his heart.

Saturday, 6/26/2004 - 5:00 PM
In the bus at Canta, waiting to depart for Lima

We took a taxi from Obrajillo to Canta (instead of walking back), and ate quickly so that we could get on the 5pm bus (the last bus of the day).  Everything worked out great, but our 2 day vacation into the mountains North of Lima, is coming to an end.

We spent today hiking up the mountainside towards the base of a waterfall (catarada) that we could see from our hostal.  We went up 1000 feet or more in about an hour... it was a steep but well rewarding climb.  We had another rest at the top (or at least as high as we could go with just hiking), and the group captured lots of pictures.

I'm hoping to see Janet tonight, since this is one of the two days she has free.  She was one of the helpers on the previous Peru trip; out of all the folks I worked with on the previous trip, I've stayed in contact with her the most over the last 6 months.  She's an awesome lady who's constantly trying to push forward in her relationship with God.  I have a Bible promises book that I think she could really use since she's not only in a volunteer leadership role, but also because she helps two other younger ladies wrt direction on how to live in God's will.

Sunday, 6/27/2004 ~ 11:30 AM
In Pepe's church

After we got ready for church this morning (at Luis' house), we had some hot chocolate, toast and oatmeal.  Luis gave me some toast and Erin/Julie made some rockin' oatmeal.  Bob made us laugh when he dropped the piece of butter from the knife and into the napkin holder in the middle of the table.  <snicker>  With a good night's rest and a full belly, Bob/Mike/Pepe and I set off for Pepe's church.  Pepe showed us a room at his church where he works with his group there; I think they are called something like "Buscamos por Christo", because in English it meant Searching or Looking for Christ.  After the guided tour from Pepe, and before church started, a man came up to me in the front lobby area.  He spoke broken English, and actually took me a couple sentences before I knew what language he was speaking, but what he said touched my heart.  The conversation was a few minutes long, but basically he was saying that folks from the US don't usually have love for the poverty and for other countries, but that this community in Peru has love for us.  This man and many others came up to talk and exchange pleasantries... we were very welcomed to be there.

Sunday, 6/27/2004 ~ 1:00 PM
Somewhere in Lima

On the walk from church, I was actually surprised to drive thru the touristy part of town.  I was across the street from Starbucks, without going in... wow.  And they have Papa Johns!  That's on e of my favorite pizza stores (entiendas).  I was surprised last night as well, when we went to a mall in order to go see "The Day after Tomorrow."  It was very commercialized and very high end... I was actually looking to see a Gucci or a Tiffany's.  Today I'm understanding that Lima has low/middle/upper class parts of town, somewhat like Palo Alto - except there is much more gap in between the class levels, and low class is MUCH lower than in the states.

Right now I'm sitting on the curb outside Taca - some airline travel agency.  Bob, Pepe and I walked here from church, and met Lynda/Luis/Catalina/Isaiah/Erin/Julie outside.  Pepe went in to change the itinerary for Erin and Julie.  We are meeting here before going to Enrique's home for lunch.  Mmmmm... it should be great!  Well, I'm off to talk to Isaiah. 

Sunday, 6/27/2004 ~ 4:45 PM
In Lynda's home

We ate an awesome feast at Enrique's place.  I met his wife and his 9 year old daughter (Viviana).  I tried to talk to her a bit... it was fun.  They are a very intelligent and nice family.  I liked sitting around the table for a couple hours, talking about life's experiences, but it took a lot of concentration to understand the Spanish and participate now and again.  We left Enrique's and are now at Lynda's.  We're supposed to eat again at 8pm... <laughter> ... but we just left the table at Enrique's!  I'm told that the culture here loves to eat.  Awesome.  But then again, it may lead to a very obese lifestyle...  Hmmm - I may need to think more about that.

Monday, 6/28/2004 ~ 12:30 AM
In the penthouse at Enrique's home

<rubs his tired eyes and begins>  The dinner and desert at Linda's rocked, as expected.  She has a nice apartment in a nice part of town.  I'm very happy to see her desire to do God's work, because that doesn't generally come from people with her background in corporate America.  We talked, played cards, watched the previous trips' DVD that Erin and Julie made, and just had a nice relaxing evening.  We left late and then drove back to Luis' place to grab stuff for Monday (tomorrow) since we were going to spend tonight at Enrique's.  We finally got to Enrique's and are staying in his "guest room" on the roof (third floor).  The area outside the bed room and bathroom is all open (no ceiling), and the building is high enough to provide a view over most the buildings around.  I call this the "penthouse" because it's not only on the top floor, but because it's also beautiful.  I feel like we're in a secret palace.  <smile>

All the people that I've met again or for the first time, are absolutely awesome.  Each has his/her own unique qualities.  I read a bit on personality uniqueness from C. S. Lewis tonight.  [Thanks Bob]  The characteristics of God being spread thru us in different ways, enables our unique personalities.  It's through both those individual unique personalities and their unity, that we can start seeing a more complete picture of God.  But unless we give up what we view ourselves to be, and seek that unique personality God has for us, then we really aren't going to find unique identities like found with these folks.  I can group many people at work in the same personality category, formed by the propaganda and standards of their environment.  I could write a single epitaph that could work for that whole group of people... and that's truly sad.  I don't want that for myself.

I talked earlier to Enrique and Linda, asking what we could do to help their material needs - both for the Young Life "clubs" and to train and feed the upcoming leaders.  I got some response to both.  Bob is going to see if his mom could bring some of the material items needed when she arrives in another week, and I can Bob and I can work out the details.  I know they could really use a couple laptops too.  Well, Bob is sleeping so I should turn the light off.  Time to rest again in our palace.

Monday, 6/28/2004 ~ NOON
At Enrique's home

Bob, Enrique, and I are sitting around talking about many things dealing with his Young Life participation.  I've been trying to find out more about how I can help strengthen the faith of the leadership.  We brought some books in Spanish that work with boosting faith and leadership, and Enrique is going thru those now in order to identify if some better suite his purposes than others.  So far I've seen a need for bulk materials to be used in a group study manner, and a laptop to be used with presentations.  Young Life has been in Lima, Peru for 30 years, but in the late 80's and early 90's, it nearly fell apart.  Due to an economic turn-down, most of the leaders had to seek other work.  Now it's slowly being built back up, and Enrique (who was one of the original 7 leaders brought up thru the club) is the main person in charge.  He has a large responsibility and a great desire to reach out to the youth in Lima. 

Sometimes God gives us the ability to spend our time and energy in His efforts that involve our hearts... like allowing me to come down to Peru on this trip.  And other times He wants us to use other gifts and talents (like prayer, abilities, or money) to further those efforts.  After hearing Enrique for the last couple of hours, I have a desire to help financially and my main focus is with both Enrique and the leadership.  God needs strong vessels thru which His word can be carried to the multitudes, and I see a greater need here to strengthen the core of the armada, than I do increasing the number of bullets carried for the anti-aircraft guns.  <smirk>

Nana (Enrique's wife) just returned from her workout and Enrique will soon finish his emailing.  My last 2 mission trips have not allowed me the time to journal actively... but God is enabling more time that I can use for intentional reflection on this trip, and though it's a bit different - it feels good.  It feels like a more mature experience.

I was able to work on Enrique's desktop computer (Windows XP), to troubleshoot why the projector wasn't working.  That was pretty fun because it was the Spanish version.  It looked the same, but everything was in Spanish (of course).  <giggle>  I wasn't successful in downloading a new driver for the projector because Sony wants ya to sign up and pay for support... but at least the experience was fun.  I'll look into enabling the projector on the borrowed laptop this afternoon.

Tuesday, 6/29/2004 - 1:50 AM
At the house in Chaclacayo

I wasn't able to enable the projector on the laptop either. The projector worked fine, but the problem was media related.  The computer needs a Windows update in order to fix the problem, but I couldn't connect it online at Enrique's because he's got high speed and I didn't have the software to enable it on the laptop (or a network switch to do it automatically).  Bummer... hopefully they can do it later.

It's late, and although I'm not tired - I probably shouldn't stay up long because I don't want to inconvenience my new roommates by returning too late.  My roomies here are Bob, Enrique, Mike and Jorge.  I'm pretty happy about being back here at the same house in Chaclacayo (that we stayed on the last Peru trip), but it's odd being on the flip side... from the leadership and Frontline perspective.  The group we picked up from the airport is younger than I expected; this is a High School group of 28 folks from Colorado, ages ranging I think from 14-17 with some adult leaders.  As such, however, that allows me the chance to talk to them from an age that may be well received.  Nevertheless it will allow me to find out if I can work well with that age, and since I'm trying to learn more about my spiritual gift, this seems like a great opportunity.  <big smile>  Pepe wants us to minister to them thru the time they have here, and he feels it will be well received.  From the few people I've talked to thus far, I agree.  I'm eager to see how this works out for God's glory.  Since I remember that the last trip wasn't tightly scripted, I want to take a step tomorrow morning and ask the Frontline leadership team to sit for 5 minutes or so and pray with my, that we are able to see, understand, and actively participate in what God has for us.  Thank you God for this opportunity.

Tuesday, 6/29/2004 - 9:10 AM
At the house after breakfast

I'm sitting outside on the tile patio, listening to the group sing "Open the eyes of my heart" and then "I fall down" with a guitar... what a way to open up the trip to see God.  I got some of the leaders together this morning to pray for a minute.  I read a passage in James (4:5) that says "He jealously desires the Spirit which he has made to dwell in us."  God, let us dwell in the Spirit today, and let it be a conscious state of being.  Gal 5:16-18 -> "walk by the Spirit".

Tuesday, 6/29/2004 - 7:32 PM
Chillin at the house after dinner

Today was great.  We went to the Casa Hogar orphanage; the same orphanage Bob and I had visited the last time we were here.  We played a bit with the kids, listened to Noel give a talk, and then we got a tour of the facility.  I was amazed at how much had changed in the last 8 months with 3rd world construction.  They had 2 new buildings, a second story on one, and a site setup for a new well and a new water tower.  Wow. 

The kids remember me - even my name.  <sub-rosa grin>  I worked hard, but not helping too much today with the group's difficulties in work because it's important to work thru challenges and have "growth-experiences" like that.  To sum up the work today, I moved a lot of heavy rocks, participated in concrete work, and played some with the kids.  I tried to get a bit involved with the kids because I really wanted to live love with them.  I played some hacky sack and wrestled, but I didn't get involved with Vacation Bible School (VBS) today because I wanted to help more with the heavy lifting for a couple of reasons.  The first is because they probably need more help with more of the difficult manual labor (because there aren't that many adults that work there) and secondly because I've been down and out (due to my broken foot) for 6 and a half weeks now, and I was enjoying actual work.

The High School crew from CO is very energetic and even a bit high strung... they sang loudly on the bus ride (~ 30 min) both to and from the orphanage.  It was a bit nerve racking for a bit, but I was encouraged by their hearts.  Some of them were looking up to me at the end of the day (because of my encouragement and work), which now opens a door for fellowship and sharing tomorrow.  I need to be intentional about goals on this trip, but I also want to be open to the goals of the Spirit, and ride along with the winds of change.  I've been trying to reflect daily and journal on this trip because I am trying to understand more of what God is saying and because I don't want to lose what God has said.  However, taking the time to journal makes me realize that time is passing, and I don't like being reminded of the time limits of life.

I felt different today when I entered the orphanage.  Some was due to implicit responsibilities that I didn't have before, some was because I felt a little out of place, and some was because I had already experienced this a bit in the past.  I hope to drop the first two limitations on my God-experience tomorrow.

I talked to Isaiah  more today, but it's difficult because he doesn't speak much English and I struggle a lot with Castellano.  He's an awesome guy and about my age, so I want to get to know him better.  I'll continue making an effort there.

Enrique left today and will return later.  That is one man of God that I want to help.  His passion and lifestyle show the grip God has on his life.  Pepe is so busy.  I want to talk to him more, but not only are his days filled with group responsibility, but his nights are filled with what appears to be his new girlfriend, who's another person here for the summer.  So I remain in the background when he's sitting alone; everyone needs quiet time and privacy.  Luis is an awesome guy too.  He seems a lot like me, being a bit more protective of his heart - where developing acquaintances is easy but it takes a while to get closer.  I can't blame him because we're only here a couple weeks again (and besides, I act the same way).

I took a quick shower (cold, since there is no hot water here) when we returned to the house, and then went to dinner.  The food was great as usual, and there was a bit of fellowship/joking around the "leadership" table thereafter.

Reality check on my intended goals:  I'm reading the Bible only a little and need to pray more.  I've been journaling and going over thoughts with the relationship daily.  I've tried to continue talking to others, to work on fellowship and intentional relationships... this takes more effort for me than 2 hours of hard labor (ie, definitely not on my gifted list).

As I sit here in solitude, sipping my coffee and feeling my aching muscles, I'm content.  I realize that short-term mission trips aren't necessary ever year, to experience and be reminded of that which we easily forget.  But God has allowed me to come on this trip regardless.  In fact, if I hadn't of broken my foot 6 and a half weeks back, I wouldn't be here.  Anyway... just as God can be experienced daily where ever we are, He can be experienced in two week retreats - no matter what the circumstance.  Sometimes I think I expect some huge "God experience", when I should be listening for His still small voice.

Tuesday, 6/29/2004 - 11:25 PM
Getting ready for bed

I was getting ready for bed, and thought I'd jump on here once again.  I've thought back over the time here and noticed that I've kinda been on the outside of a "click".  I thought it was my impromptu arrival at first, but that hasn't proven to be the case thus far.  I've tried to take 2nd on everything (beds/seats/conversations/etc), participating in all conversations (and that's actually difficult for me because I don't feel the need to naturally involve myself with other conversations), bringing helpful (or what I thought was helpful) materials to give to folks, standing on the bus (when we were a seat short) while everyone else sat, etc.  But when I'm in the presence of that "click", they seem to talk over what I'm saying and/or opt not to listen.  That's not the case with the people with which I'm starting to spend more time.  I realize it's not intentional, but it's very distracting/disheartening to throw effort at a wall, especially when that effort doesn't come easy for me.  This is one reason I don't like being open, because it doesn't always pay off by amounting to anything.  When I don't specifically try to be with those folks (at least until now), they won't come by and chat.  This is ok in the big picture here, but it's something that has been distracting me for the last 5 days.  I'm sure God is going to use this trial (or is already using it) to further His glory in one way or another.  That's part of the beauty of God.  He doesn't promise comfort or an easy life, but He does promise constant presence and the best for His children.  Now you know why I don't pray for patience.   <laughter>  Anyway, I think it's important to share struggles as well as good times along this trip.

It's ironic that I'm writing about difficulties and trials of life, considering Bob, Mike, and myself were just talking with Will (a leader from the CO group) about the devotion tonight.  Will mentioned that a lot of the people just started opening up and talking about very private things with which they are really struggling (drinking, pornography, etc).  I expressed some opinions on the subject that came to mind when writing this.  That's God at work for ya.  Well, it's late now and most everyone else is in bed.  I'll write more tomorrow.  {big surprise, I'm sure :}

Wednesday, 6/30/2004 ~ 8:35 AM
Getting ready to eat breakfast

Since I love James (seems to be my favorite book lately), I looked there again for my morning scripture.  I read James 4:7-10:

"Submit therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you."

Wow, what an awesome verse to read after my thoughts from last night.  Thank you God for this encouragement.  Thank you God for knowing me through and through.  Time for prayer, a silent song, and breakfast!

Wednesday, 6/30/2004 - 6:55 PM
At the table after dinner

I wondered if today was going to be ok because I was extremely sore from working so hard yesterday.  We moved huge rocks... some weighed over 1000 pounds and took 3 rope lines (think tug-of-war lines) and pry bars to pull out of the 5 foot deep hole.  The soon to be 15x15x5 foot hole is for an in-ground water basin that we're building right next to an equal sized water tower.  The basin is for a larger quantity of stored water than they have now, and the tower is going to enable running water - including enabling the toilets in the recently built bathrooms.  It truly is amazing to see the amount of change that has occurred over the last 9 months.  This is awesome.

I spent most of the working day with Eric.  He is 18 years old, just graduated from high school, physically fit, and more reserved.  I've been able to relate with him more than others seem able, at least from what I've seen.  I've talked about school, God, and items on this trip, but mainly we were working together doing hard labor on the large rocks.  He held the chisel that I sledge-hammered for an hour.  It felt good and very natural to work with him... he kind of reminded me of myself.

Wednesday, 6/30/2004 - 10:20 PM
In the living room

I walked to the Internet Cafe with Mike and then returned to talk for over an hour with Luis and Cesar in the kitchen... all in Castellano.  It was a great experience - difficult, but great.  I bought some chocolate bars at the store on the way back to the house, and gave them to some of the folks here - including Isaiah's little sister (9 yrs old) who came and worked with us today on the orphanage.  The chocolate bars are Peruvian, and I imagined most of the CO crew probably hadn't tasted it before (since I hadn't and I was in Peru just the year before).

I'm trying to understand how and where God worked today, but it's too busy around here to sit in stillness.  Hopefully I've written enough to be able to reflect back on this day later.

Thursday, 7/1/2004 - 7:50 AM
Somewhere in the house before breakfast

I didn't sleep very well last night.  I woke up many times, and then I had to go to the bathroom, but if I were to get up then I'd wake up Enrique who was sleeping in the bunk below.  Ack - horrible.  The only part of last night's sleep that was soothing, was a dream my mind let me have that gave me something to do while laying uncomfortably in bed.  It was very vivid and I remember it well since I was going over it a few times while in a half awake state.  In short, it was about speeding (while lost) thru country roads.  I stopped when seeing a police officer, to ask for directions, but instead of a warm greeting I got slapped with a bunch of bogus charges and threatened by the cop.  I resisted arrest because there was a) no need for it and b) I wasn't sure what they were going to do bogus while I sat in some cell.  So I took the issue way up.  When my lawyer turned out to be crooked and wanted to sue the whole county for money, the dream was no longer soothing and so I got up.  I went outside where some of the High School folks were playing soccer.  One of them said that the 5 of 'em should throw me into the pool to wake me up.  Because it would have taken a lot of effort to resist them, should the idea come to fruition, and because I didn't feel like exerting more effort than just moving - I retreated back inside to write this entry.  Well, I suppose I can wake the other folks up this morning since I'm already pseudo-awake.

Thursday, 7/1/2004 - 7:03 PM
At the table in the foyer

The lights went out an hour ago, about 20 minutes after we arrived back from the orphanage.  Bob, Mike and Jorge were able to shower before the lights went out, but I showered in the dark.  The water felt especially cold tonight, but the dinner was hot and very delicious, so it was all good.  I'm told that the lights go out every Thursday between 6 & 9pm in Chaclacayo, so this is within bounds.

I'm sitting in stillness, alone in the foyer with a candle as my light.  With 28 teenagers, this place is far from "still" or quiet, but at least this room has less commotion than the others.  Yesterday, Mike related my journal to my girlfriend, since I'm with it so often.  He mentioned jokingly tonight that it would only be right to spend quality time by candlelight.  <smirk>  So here I am trying to write something worth remembering later.

Pepe and I talked for a few minutes today at the orphanage.  He asked a few times about how I was doing.  Pepe mentioned that he often needs still time alone with God, to look again into the mirror in order to identify and understand all that he is (both the good and the bad).  Then he can again give it to God and discover more about himself... and he's able to grow.  I'm not sure how to take this yet, but it is good to record for later.

During the light outage, I went with Luis, Enrique, and Isaiah again to get 4 more large 20 liter water boxes from the store.  This is an everyday event since we can't drink the tap water here.  Once we returned, I sat down to read some scripture.  i ended up talking with Angelina (Isaiah's sister, and one of the cooks on this trip) for an hour or more, about different scriptures.  That was a lot of fun.  She teaches Sunday school and talks to others about God too.  Isaiah' other sister here (Deborah, 9 yrs old) is also very nice.  Isaiah must have an awesome family.

Friday, 7/2/2004 - 8:37 AM
Getting ready to eat

I read from Romans this morning... Romans 1:18-28.  I don't want to be turned over to my "degraded passions", "lusts", or "depraved mind"; I know the after effects of that life too well.  I want the characteristics of living a God-filled life.  I'm not sure what that means, but the more I think about it, the more my relationship struggle enters my mind.

Yesterday I hurt my leg during VBS with the kids.  I kicked the soccer ball back into play, but while climbing back into the court I caught about 6 inches of my lower right leg on a huge rock... and it was a bleeder.  I used Neosporin and band-aids last night, but I'm not sure how it will hold up under construction today.  I need to pray about that today before we leave.

Friday, 7/2/2004 - 6:58 PM
Chillin in the house again

Today was another great day at the orphanage.  We poured three of the four columns for the water tower yesterday, and finished the last column today.  The 15x15x5 foot hole next to the tower is nearly complete, with another 5 large boulders bulled out again today.  The 30 foot trench (for another dormitory) has been encountering many problems in the form of boulders as well... making the 2x30x5 foot trench look more like another water basin.  The 4 Peruvian workers asked specifically for me to help on the last concrete pour today, which was quite the compliment.  I guess it makes sense.  I've been working hard the past 3 days, have the physical strength required, speak enough Spanish to understand, and construction isn't new to me.  But still it was great to be specifically asked when almost everyone was standing around and the guy walked around everyone to ask me.  <grin>  It's the little things in life we need to appreciate.  <huge smile>

I sat for over an hour today at VBS, and talked with quite a few kids.  Two girls in particular were sitting with me for a while.  They were using words that I understood, so I talked quite a bit.  They felt comfortable enough around me that they were surprised to find out that I didn't have a daughter of my own.  <soft smile>  I was singing some English worship songs for a while and they liked it... that was a little different too.  I'm happy I could do something for them.

I was planning on being at the orphanage another day, but Enrique and Bob are going to go with Pepe to the Lima airport tonight (to pick up another person for the trip).  They are going because it will be cheaper to take a Taxi from the airport tonight than from here tomorrow.  I want to meet the leaders that Enrique is working with and I'd like to hear what Bob has prepared for them.  Bob has been working on a 5-10 minute speech for the last couple of weeks, specifically targeted to the Young Life leaders.  I'm happy to see growth thru the few discussions we've had about it.  His experiences reminds me of the ones I've had sometimes while preparing for the convalescent home ministries.  So I want to hear it.  Consequently, that means that I have to leave tonight.

I asked a few kids to pour some water over my head again today.  I love it when they do that... not to mention that it cools me off.  After they pour water over my head, they like to be held - even though I'm all dirty and now wet.  <grin>  Kids here aren't afraid of dirt or water, and that's fun. 

Angelina gave me some additional scriptures to read, so I'll do that tonight.  Right now I need to pack.

Friday, 7/2/2004 - 10:33 PM
In the penthouse at Enrique's home

We got here much faster than both Bob and I thought we were going to.  Bob and I settled back into the guest house up on the roof.  We just finished laughing hard about Enrique and the fart machine used today by the CO crew at the orphanage.  On the ride over here, I played a hand game again with Marisol.  She's sad that I'm not returning to the orphanage.  I'll have to agree that I'm also sorry that I can't return.  It kinda seems like that's the way these things work for me.  The Guatemala trip also ended with me being unable to say goodbye.  In a way that makes the experience easier for me - not having to feel pain in my heart... but it also doesn't allow for the completeness.

I just finished looking thru the scrap book that Lacy gave me, and remembered all the emotions of that love and then thought about the relationship questions that I wanted to ponder on this trip.  It has been very difficult for me to deal with love in the past, so I need to be very intentional in thought and feeling when coming into that mindset.  I don't know if it's God or if it's just me, but many items and situations on this trip have triggered these thoughts.  From talking to Will and his wife (who are very young), to listening to the kids, to seeing Enrique's family and their interactions, to thinking while by myself... I'm scared where that might lead me.  But I know that fear does nothing to further life, and I need to look past that in order to continue forward.

Bob just mentioned that he sees a real talent I have with kids.  Not just that they like me, but also that I seem like I enjoy them as well.  I hesitated a response because I was recalling times this week where that could have been seen.  He's asleep now so I'll have to thank him later.  I wonder if anyone has ever told him that he has a gift for being able to encourage others.

Saturday, 7/3/2004 ~ 10:30 AM
At the table in Enrique's home

This morning I woke up about 8:15, nice and rested.  Bob and I switched our sleeping arrangements from the last time, so I was in the bed and he was on the cushions.  Bob was still resting, probably due to his quarrel with the cushions staying in place last night, so I came downstairs and talked with Viviana, consequently I needed to wake my brain up and start translating.  She said that she had a great week, and I told her about Bob's and my week.  Bob and Enrique entered the kitchen and we had breakfast.  I had a coffee.  Evidently these coffee grounds are much stronger than the ones at Chaclacayo because the caffeine hit me... and that's not usual for me since my tolerance is pretty high. 

Enrique has hot water, so the shower was incredible.  Viviana came out of her room with a red clown nose on, and then I brought the photo album out (scrap book) so Viviana could see me with the whole clown outfit on (from my Guatemala trip).  <laughter>  Everyone loved the pictures, and I got to try to explain the categories in Castellano.  Enrique and Bob commented on how nice of an album it was, and how it must have taken a long time.  Indeed it is nice.

Right now I'm sitting by myself with a coffee buzz (and like an addict - I've another cup in front of me), trying to reflect more on this last week.  So far I've seen that 1) I'm good with kids,  2) it feels natural to work with teenagers (but wow can they be loud), and  3) I need more intentional still time with God.  I'm not sure how to work the first two into my life back home, but I plan on asking some people at church when I return.

I went back upstairs and grabbed the two large stacks of clothes that I brought to give away.  Last time I brought old clothes, but this time I only brought good clothes that I either don't wear or that don't fit.  I remember as a child (when I lived in the relative poverty of the US) that it was nice to receive used clothes... but what a blessing it was to receive nice, name brand, new clothes.  I took them  to the orphanage, but there weren't any kids large enough to wear them, which I figured would be the case - so I'm giving them to Enrique to give to Young Life.  God, I pray these clothes will be effectively used in Your will.  God made us to experience appreciation and to want to reciprocate the love shown to us.  I remember when I was a teenager and still living with my biological mother, that the Miller family used to always pick me up for both church and youth group every week.  The Miller's and Prescott's used to always pick me up for Boy Scouts.  I remember thinking that when I got older, I would do the same for another person.

Sunday, 7/4/2004 - 9:49 AM
At the house again in Chaclacayo

I woke up at 8:30 and sat up on the mat laying on the floor in the living room.  We made other sleeping arrangements last night because there were a lot more folks that returned for the night from Lima.  We went to a Peruvian dance club last night, and they showcased dancing from different parts of Lima and around the world.  It was pretty fun to watch, but I didn't dance much because the music wasn't hip-hop or house... but I did Salsa dance for one song.  Water in the club was more expensive, but it was still under a dollar.  Anyway, I was able to talk to lots of people, including Janet, so that was awesome.  Oooh... breakfast is starting...

Sunday, 7/4/2004 ~ 11:00AM
In the church in Chaclacayo

I believe the pastor is talking about Revelation and the thousand year period.  He's talking about different interpretations of the scripture, but I'm not sure about his direction on message because I can't understand him that well.  I feel bad that I'm writing in my journal during church, but I'm completely lost now.

Yesterday, Bob, Enrique and I went to a Young Life leader training session - the first of its kind.  Bob gave the devotional on brokenness and community.  He asked us to write down really bad times in our life, and then if and how God worked thru them.  Then he tied in some scripture talking about how the bad things and trials continue shaping our life for God's will.  Bob touched on how and why a Christian community is important to work thru these hard times, and that we should share these experiences with others.  After that, Linda and Enrique talked about the history of Young Life (called Algo Nuevo) in Peru... and their message touched me.  A desire to reach young people for Christ, thru love.  Algo Nuevo seeks to love the hard-hearted and the kids rejected by others (kids that may have problems with drugs, violence, family, abuse, etc).  They don't force Christ on them, but rather demonstrate passion for Christ and reveal the relevance of God in their lives.  This creates a desire in the kids to know more because of the safe and loving environment shown.  The problems the kids might have are between them and God; Algo Nuevo isn't there to discipline or criticize, but rather to accept and love.  Young Life clubs are made by an intentional lifestyle (spending time hanging out where the kids are) of passive evangelism (not forcing anything on the kids, but creating relationships and providing the environment for the kids to approach you.  Wow.  Actively working with teens in a real life setting, accepting them and administering passive evangelism.  That feels like something I could not only be good at, but also something I would love.  God, is this where you want me to start looking?

Saying goodbye to Viviana and Nana was difficult yesterday.  I felt like I was really able to get to know them well over the few days spent together.  Enrique is definitely blessed by God with an awesome family.  Speaking of Enrique, I couldn't understand most of what he said to the new Young Life leaders, but I saw a genuine passion in his face/body/voice when he was speaking.  I feel like I have something similar, but there are road blocks or detours in my way.  Nevertheless, I really appreciated seeing that passion in someone like Enrique, whom I respect.

The bus ride from La Candeleria (Peruvian club) to Chaclacayo was long, so I was able to talk to some of the leaders on the ride back.  I had a fun conversation about the roles, characteristics, relational importance, responsibilities, etc - between man/woman and God/Christ/Spirit.  One of the ladies disagreed on something, so hopefully we get a chance to walk thru scripture today and understand more.

Sunday, 7/4/2004 - 9:03 PM
Sitting in the aisle in the middle of the bus

Today was filled with touristy stuff.  After church we went to Bembo's (hamburger joint) located in Lima's main square, then shopping at the Inca Market.  We left there and went to the beach, where a couple of ladies from the CO team were baptized.  That was pretty neat.  Then we went to a food mall, overlooking the beach.  I ordered something by a picture that looked like it sounded, but it was much smaller and didn't taste good.  So as everyone else is getting large plates of food that looked and smelled delicious, I got what looked like 10 small sushi rolls.  Yes, I "ate" most of the bite-sized pieces, but it wasn't pleasant.  At least the OJ was helping my sore throat, and the cappuccino was good.

Now I'm on the bus ride back to Chaclacayo.  I'm really tired so I'm not sure if I will stay up very long after we return.  I only have two days left, so here's a check-up with respect to my goals for this trip:

1) Understanding the relationship thru the heart :  I see (and have read) that God works thru the heart, and that He views love very highly.  I have been thinking about it - when explaining the photo album, when talking about my past, when seeing others interact, while in church, etc.

2) Understanding my Spiritual Gift :  I've heard comments from people about my interactions with kids, and have thought about comments from others before the trip.  I feel good about working with teens, and had a good "feeling" when hearing about Young Life.

3) Learning more about God :  Through the intelligent conversations with the female leaders (wrt relationships between man/woman & God), my interaction with Angelina, with the kids at the orphanage, while working at the orphanage, sitting thru Young Life leader training, etc... I am seeing God work in different ways.  He's working thru scripture and fellowship as well.  I need to listen and pray more though.

Sunday, 7/4/2004 ~ 11:00 PM
At the house in Chaclacayo

I've been to the store (for the kids and Pepe) a couple times since we returned.  I hit the drugstore on the way back to get some cold/flu meds so that I can shake this thing (hopefully) tonight, so I can fully enjoy the last two days.

I wanted to make sure and record the feedback from one of the other volunteer leaders here.  She said that I have (or rather God has thru me) provided answers for questions that she's struggled with for a while.  That God has directly used me on this trip, and at least part of my purpose for this trip was for here.  I'm not sure if it were thru some of the Biblical discussions that she was involved with, or if it was thru working with the group, thru the kids, or something totally different, but I'm encouraged by her sharing that with me.  I was feeling that this trip was more of my own desire than Gods, especially because of the impromptu decision to go.  However, it turned out to work out for God's will.  It feels great to be used as God's instrument.  <soft and tired smile>  Goodnight.

Monday, 7/5/2004 - 12:07 PM
In the bus leaving Chaclacayo

I got up at 9, but I'm still waking up.  This cold dealio is like a leech, sucking the very energy out of me.  The Peruvian medicine seems more like placebo meds than anything active.  But I looked in my medicine/first-aid bag today in case I packed something, and to my amazement I found Sudafed cold and flu.  Rock on!  I took that with some Aleve, and though I still feel groggy - I'm starting to feel more alive.

I was reading different Biblical passages this morning and found another one on love and another one to capture for evangelism.  Then Luis and lady I've never seen before, asked me to go with them to check out a Christian school.  I didn't understand what we were doing at first, but I'm glad I went.  The school reminds me of one that my biological mother went to in MO on the farm.  It was one building, about the size of a small ranch-style one bedroom home.  All the rooms were a different classroom.  There were no halls in between, and some of the doors were just curtains.  The back yard (walled in like a fortress, like all other houses here) was for recess and lunch.  The administration/principal office was a small hallway.  This was the only Christian school in Chaclacayo.  It had 56 students ranging from Kindergarten (3/4 yrs) to 6th grad.  Luis and I got a tour of the school and visited all the classes.  All the students and teachers appeared very happy and involved, which was great.  Frontline Missions currently has 5 places they work groups thru, and they are considering this as a 6th place.

Now we're driving to our next destination - Ventanilla.  I think the plan is to work for a few hours today, stay in a hostal in Lima tonight, and work a full day tomorrow.  I'm not sure what Ventanilla is (school/orphanage/church/village), all I know is that it is worse off than the orphanage.  Nevertheless, I'm sure God will bless our time there.

People setup (bicycle) carts into very obscure places to sell goods... on the side of the highway, on the beach, in the middle of nowhere between towns, etc.

There are three materials that I've seen used in very unique ways around Lima and Chaclacayo - rocks, concrete, and cacti.  They use large rocks to throw into large holes (after they pulled them out of course) when pouring foundations or thick outside walls... but only certain kinds (the denser kind that are difficult to split with chisels and mauls).  They stack rocks for fences, temporary walls, and concrete forms (since wood is rare and expensive here).  All the electric/phone/light poles here are concrete, reinforced with rebar.  All rails for walkways/streets/bridges/etc - are concrete.  Even the billboard struts are concrete... you just don't find much metal here.  All the smaller town and villages I've seen so far use cactus plants (and their roots) to hold rock fences/walls together when concrete apparently isn't available.  Since it's pretty dry here, cacti is pretty much all that grows naturally in places without streams of water.

Not many people here have computers, but Internet Cafes are cheap and very prevalent... sometimes there are more than one per block.  Taxies and buses are also very prevalent.  It's common for folks to take up this occupation if they lose their job.  After 40 yrs old, it's VERY difficult to find another job because employers always look for younger/cheaper people.  Because of the competition, it costs less than a dollar to travel by bus/taxi 5-10 miles.

From what I've learned, there are both private and public schools here.  The public school system is free, but due to the number of kids, you rarely attend a school even remotely close to your neighborhood.  So kids not only have to pay for school supplies, but also for public transportation to/from school.  It helps if your parents are alumni from the school because then you get higher priority than other new kids.  Kindergarten thru High school is all taught in the same school here... broken up by classrooms.  The public colleges are free as well, but since the capacity is like 3,000 and the demand is like 15,000 a year - many don't have that option.  Furthermore, most kids leave Peru after finishing college, so the government funded education doesn't help the economy.

Tuesday, 7/6/2004 - 8:50 AM
In a hostal on the Northwest side of Lima

We came back from Ventanilla yesterday, and I showered with hot water.  That was great because my head cold just drained me yesterday.  I ate some soup and then felt much better, so I headed off to a nearby store to buy coffee before I left.  I went with Angelina, so I was also able to buy some chocolate for a thank you gift to the cooks.  I learned more about Angelina because we talked quite a bit on the walk.  She's divorced and has 2 children (8 and 6 yrs old).  She said that the marriage wasn't in God's timing and I disagreed.  The marriage obviously wasn't meant to be, but because of that trial she has been able to work in ways that should couldn't have before.  Then she told me that she has consequently been helping girls in trouble.  Anyway, that was awesome.

When I returned I felt much worse again (I'm sure the cold air didn't help), so I went to my room and packed my stuff last night in order to leave tonight.  Then I took meds and vitamins and hit the sack about 11pm.  My stomach has been rumbling this morning, and I'm a bit worried about working today.  I want today to be an awesome experience - especially since it's my last day.  I'll pray on the 1 hr bus ride back to Ventanilla.

I read Matthew chapter 11 this morning for my personal devotion.  Then I listened to Bob give the devotion to the CO group about brokenness, our uniqueness in our brokenness, and God's desire for community in that brokenness.  It was interesting to think about that thru the perspective of my brokenness in light of Paul's "thorn in the flesh".

Tuesday, 7/6/2004 - 9:56 AM
Just left the hostal on a bus bound for Ventanilla

Oooph, I'm feeling bad in more ways than one.  This seems to be the norm of my trips to 3rd world countries; I always get sick after a couple weeks.  My prayer list is growing in large bounds.  I will need to set aside 20 minutes a day in order to cover everyone I've committed to praying for... and that will help me re-establish my daily quiet time.  As with most change though, it won't be easy at first.

Today is overcast, but it feels like the weather is in the 60's in Lima.  Ventanilla is an hour North and of Lima, and right on the coast (the ocean is visible from the city since the city is on a hill, about 1 mile away).  The weather can vary 15 degrees or more between Lima and Ventanilla... hopefully it won't be too cold.  We will probably shovel more sand and break out some crafts with the kids today.  I'm going to try to sleep a bit on the bus, to conserve some energy.  Peace out.

Tuesday, 7/6/2004 - 4:02 PM
In the bus departing from Ventanilla

Ventanilla is much different from Chaclacayo.  Casa Hogar (the orphanage in Chaclacayo) was on the mountain and consequently was very dry and had lots of boulders and trash; they used rocks and concrete for building materials.  Gamaliel (the church in Ventanilla) was on the beach and consequently was pretty moist and had lots of sand; they used wood and plastic for building materials.

Pepe talked to me this morning and told me that if I want to return, whether I had money or not, that this is my home.  Enrique talked to me later that afternoon and told me the same thing.  He said that his family really enjoyed my visit, that I have a home in Peru with him if ever I want to return.  These folks here are awesome; now I know (if it were ever a mystery) why they actively seek God's face thru these mission opportunities.  Enrique gave me a picture from Viviana, that she wanted me to have.  That was very thoughtful and nice; I'll throw it on my web site later.  ;)

Wednesday, 7/7/2004 ~ 7:00 AM
In the airplane, passing by Tampa Florida

I'm tired, cold, and sick - yet all of these things are temporary.  I'm happy that God not only allowed me to go on this trip and has shown me things, but also that He's used my time in Peru to reveal things to others.  Sweet.  I'm also amazed at how quickly a person can make an impression on other people's lives.

I don't have anything important to say, but it didn't seem right sitting here awake on the airplane after breakfast, without opening up my journal.  Lots of folks intentionally said goodbye before I left yesterday:  Viviana (thru Enrique), Enrique, Linda, Pepe, Luis, Janet, Jorge, Isaiah, Angelina, (Isaiah's mom), Cesar, folks from the CO group, and Bob.

Last night Bob made Mike and I laugh so hard we cried.  As tempting as it is to quote that conversation here, I told Bob that I wouldn't write about that in my journal.  If you know Bob Curtis, you should ask him about it... though I don't think he thought it was as funny as we did.  <trailing laughter>

Well, coffee was just served and I need to fill out my customs form in the next half hour.  I also need to work on writing summary info of the trip during the rest of my time in transit today, so this will be my last journal entry.  My goal in keeping this journal was to be able to capture actions, thoughts and feelings, so that I could better process a greater percentage of what God had presented on this trip.  I know that I've certainly journaled more than my two previous mission trips, by looking at the number of notebook pages used (26).  Hopefully I captured some good threads that will take me back to the moment, much like a picture that contains a thousand words.

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